Lost my job

hey @Shesme16 welcome to the forums!

i'm so sorry to hear about your toxic workplace. it sounds like leaving has given you clarity around what kind of place it is, but at the same time, i can see how incredibly stressful its been for you. it's really great that you've reached out for support, you're not alone here 💗

i see you mentioned that the anxiety's been pretty tough to deal with - what's been helpful in managing those feelings in the past?

i'm also tagging some people here @FracturedBeing @Hellokitty246 @ogień888 @Ruby26 

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@Shesme16 wrote:

 

have recieved some awful messsages from my old boss that are really bringing me down since she fired me. 

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Keep all of them

Whether for legal stuff or DSP claims, documentation is important

Hey @Shesme16 

First of all, I am so glad you found your way to this community. Reaching out is often the hardest step when you feel you're underwater, so please give yourself some credit for being here!

I am so incredibly sorry you are going through this. Losing a job is a major life event, and it is normal to feel like your world has been shaken, especially since it is your first time navigating this.

I wanted to share with you some things to keep in mind while sitting with this anxiety.

It is so common to only realise how bad a workplace actually was once you're finally out of it. Give yourself permission to breathe; the clarity you are feeling about the toxicity is actually a sign of your perspective returning.

Now, if your former boss is sending awful messages, please know this reflects their lack of professionalism, not your performance. You have every right to protect your peace. If you feel comfortable doing so, I recommend muting those notifications or blocking the number. You are no longer their employee, and you don't owe them your attention. 

I want you to know that you are so much more than your job title or the way one person treated you. It is okay if you don't "find yourself" tomorrow. Right now, try focusing on small, grounding things, like taking a walk outside (even in your backyard), having your favourite meal, or just sitting in a quiet space, which can help lower that baseline anxiety.

We are all here to listen to you. Please keep using this space as you navigate these next steps. You've got this, just take it one hour at a time.

Really sorry that you are experiencing this. I can understand how a job is a huge part of one's identity. As others have stated, keep records of all interactions, for your safety and any legal issues that may arise. 

As for the anxiety, that's a tough one I'm still trying to work through myself. I have found some relief in sounds meditations, particularly 432Hz, 963Hz, 528Hz. Or body scan meditations where you're forced to follow the pattern. 

@Shesme16 I'm so sorry to hear that you've lost your job and have been struggling so much. 

I lost my first paid job due to a toxic workplace. The worst part was the shock when I realized that my boss had been manipulating me and sabotaging my work for a long time- it was a huge betrayal. Making a complaint about this boss was also stressful as she was careful to cover her tracks. You have a right to make a compliant about the messages your old boss is sending you- you have the proof in writing. Or you could write a formal email to your old boss with a warning to leave you alone or you will file a harassment complaint. 

I can relate a lot to the loss of identity and anxiety. I found setting goals was very helpful for me in finding myself again. I started doing volunteer work right away after losing the job which really helped keep my self-worth intact. You could also do something creative or start a new hobby (or reconnect with something you used to love). I think sometimes it is important to focus on identity for a while before searching for a new job or just taking it slow with job hunting. Of course, if you need money for food and shelter or you're really motivated, you may start job searching right away. It depends on your circumstances. But make sure whatever you do that you are kind to yourself and have some time every day for self-care.