Loving_Hubby New Contributor
Please Help - Wife resents me following hospitalisation
After a family health scare in mid-March, my Wife increased a leisurely drug-habit that we shared, (barely a half-joint between us at night for 'netflix & chill') to ten as a crutch. Withdrawing, she stayed up late and often, lots of doom-scrolling on her phone, couldn't sleep once in bed, started getting frequent migraines, and started exhibiting paranoid delusional thoughts in late-March. Imagining a conspiracy theory that scared the hell out of me and her closest Family which just got worse through April and now May. Her theory includes her Family, I, a secret twin imposter and others as being all out to get her and steal away imaginary inheritance money and to also steal away our Son, (there's more paranoid delusions, but I'll keep it basic)
The thing is, she also picked a miniscule bad habit of mine as the basis for us "separating" out of the blue as part of it. Based on 'trust' - she can't trust me because I'm part of the big conspiracy, which includes me fathering another child! I've never been or wanted to be intimate with any other since we met in 1994. I've never stolen or cheated or done anything fraudulent as she claimed. I also didn’t understand because I WFH and was always around her except for when out doing the School run & Shopping.
But she believes it and there's no changing her mind. Our happy, humble, loving Marriage is now in tatters. She threw me out and I've been couch-surfing ever since and still paying bills & rent for my Family.
As things worsened, and having never had to deal with such uncharacteristic behaviour, I called the SA Mental Health Triage Service for some advice, and they panicked (calling it Substance-Induced Psychosis) and visited, with a Psychiatrist the second time, who diagnosed her and placed her on an Inpatient Treatment Order, then was admitted to the Hospital for one night, which happened to be our Son's birthday. Discharged the next day, this 'service' has followed up a few times since and 'cleared her' but the hate will not go away. And neither have the denial and paranoid theories. Blames me for everything. She hates me for, "putting her in the mental ward" and "ruining our Son's birthday".
At times she's her normal, sweet self which is displayed to the few In Her World and no doubt the mental health people. But her other side is really angry, narcissistic, doesn't listen, rants and curses anyone who questions her, her thinking or Her World. Other close Family who were concerned and tried to understand have been stubbornly pushed away, cursed at, ignored, and 'blocked' from her and our Son's life. So it's basically Her, our Son, a cousin or two in Her World and everyone else is against her. Sporadic, short, often cryptic, angry texts are the basis of contact, and our replies not read.
She was put on an anti-psychotic at the hospital that 1 day but has not had it since and, from what I have read on many reputable internet resources with matching symptoms and behaviours, would really help and entirely makes sense for her to be on. Sadly, there's no options for making her be medicated. Or further tested -- it could be due to a stroke or even a brain tumour. Or will she spiral and 'crash' at some stage, I don't know how all this works?
The paranoid confinement has also kept our Son out of School for 8 weeks now, she's fed him her paranoia and lies about me, damaging my relationship with my teenage Son. What to do? I love her so much and am heartbroken that she doesn't see that I did it solely out of Love and Concern. The timing was awful and it became messy, but no-one could have planned this, or be faulted for Wanting To Help, besides 'the system' that hasn't in actual fact.
My Wife hates me for doing the right thing, for doing my duty and exactly what I signed up for - Being Her Loving, Dedicated Husband - for caring and looking out for her.
Any advice on how to handle this situation and get my loving family back would be appreciated. No-one can MAKE her take anti-psychotics, as far as I know. And she denies there's a problem - it's everybody else with the issues.