MH worsening with age/time

@TheoBromine 

I hear you and want to say you're not alone. I can relate to how you feel and the worsening of your MH overtime. The reason for this is chronic stress, previous trauma (untreated/unaddressed) and social isolation. The combination of these factors alters the brain pathways. 

I applaud you for taking the step forward and reaching out for help. I hope this forum community, can help you, and support you through this. And research, is showing, that MH can improve with the right support and self-care. For example, daily routines, mindfulness and evidence based professional care. 

I think many people minimize their trauma and that is a coping mechanism many of us use, and other factors contribute to this too. Some changes are subtle and chronic stress is a major factor. I hope you can start to heal your mind body and spirit. Hope this helps a little.

Thank you @oceangirl. I cannot get the heart (support?) button to work.

I have been going to psychologist for last couple of years. I don't know, I still seem a bit worse. 

I started with one, but they moved, so now I see another one.

She wants to try EMDR. I'm a bit skeptical.

My daily routine has been disrupted because I retired recently, that has decreased my stress, but now I have less distraction, so maybe not as good an idea as I thought.

I am sorry to hear that you can relate, as it seems to be mean you are possibly experiencing a similar thing. Have you been on this forum for long?

@TheoBromine 

You're welcome and thank you for your message. I have trouble with the heart button, but that is usually when I am on my mobile.

I would encourage you, to do what is right for you, and if something does not feel right, follow your intuition. And finding your tribe or support can help a lot too. 

Changes in life and especially retirement, could make MH worse. Perhaps making plans moving forward might help with this. 

And not all therapy is the same and sometimes it can make things worse. I have had triggers and or changes that have impacted my MH in recent months. But I am taking stock and pausing and then coming up with a plan.

@TheoBromine I have been on the forum for about ten years.

I am on a laptop @oceangirl but when I click the heart, it gives me an orange message - Sorry, unable to complete the action you requested.

I am just skeptical about EMDR because I can't see how it will change things - but people say it's worked for them, so I will give it a go.

I had a few things happen that moved my retirement earlier than I thought.

I have joined some things including doing some regular exercise since retiring.

I moved to a different place a few years ago, so I don't know many people here and no long-standing people, so I am trying to find people, but I am an introvert, so I find it very difficult. Also probably CPTSD (and depression) doesn't help with feeling confident with people.

I am sorry to hear that you have had some impacts on your MH, I hope you are able to come up with a good plan. You have been on the forum for a while. Do you still work?

I hope you have a good evening and sleep. Thanks for chatting with me.

Your story is important, and you matter.

To answer your question directly: yes, absolutely. Trauma has this way of changing and shifting as we age. For decades, many of us just keep our heads down—we go to school, we go to university, we build careers, and we just keep pushing forward to survive. But carrying that heavy weight for a long time takes a toll, and it is entirely normal for mental health struggles to surface or intensify later in life, even if it has been years since the trauma occurred.

You are  not alone in this. I have three brothers who were equally as abused as I was. I chose to take the therapy route, and for years, I was dissed and laughed at for it. But just last week, one of my brothers—who is wealthy and highly noted in his profession—spent the week in absolute shock. He had a total lightbulb moment after seeing me he was white-faced and shaking from the impact of it all.

The realization hits everyone differently, and at different times.

Please know that this space is here for you exactly as you need it. We have a wonderful mix of people here. Some of us regulars just check up on each other or pop in to say happy birthday. People like @Meowmy  might just pop in to mention they're having a coffee, while others like @avant-garde talk about craft or friendship with @MissGremlin 

Whatever you choose to do moving forward to address these issues, we will back you. The past is always present, but you don't have to carry it  by yourself.

We are so glad you reached out.

@TheoBromine 

It is good chatting with you 😊 

There is no harm in trying, good for you. But I always say, do what is right for you. And do your research and ask questions about the therapy etc. Remember, there are several other approaches. 

I'm introverted too and that's why I find the forum helpful. And I am very much like you with past trust issues with people. I have a tendency to overthink things, but I am learning to change this. 

What type of exercise do you do? What other activities are you doing? 

Btw, I'm still working. Hope you have a good evening and sleep too.

I'm glad you reached out for support. 

It absolutely can! I have CPTSD (long-term childhood trauma), and so I'm very familiar with what you're talking about in terms of how trauma can affect you!

This is a good analogy of what's going on in you. I don't want to make any assumptions with your experiences, but at a guess your life is slowing down for you due to your age. This means your brain isn't as easily distracted by more pressing thoughts, and your subconscious is able to bring up these traumas (both directly and indirectly).

If you're struggling, I would talk to your GP about it, and they can refer you to a psychologist and perhaps a psychiatrist. Medication can help, and processing your trauma can help a lot in learning how to properly heal. If you get a PTSD or a CPTSD diagnosis, I wholeheartedly recommend you see a psychologist who specialises in PTSD, as they are so much better at understanding what you're going through, and providing the support you need to heal!

I hope this helps, and good luck!

Thanks @PeppyPatti 

Yes I was just reading an article from a psychiatrist in another country who mentioned about people seeming to go on ok and then something happens and suddenly things aren't so good.

That's not exactly my experience, but similar I suppose.

I am sorry to hear that you have experienced childhood trauma.

@oceangirl I am doing a bit of research and asking questions of the psychologist to know what are the possibilities. She said I can not do it or stop at any time, she's good at letting me make the decisions and doesn't impose anything on me.

I have been going to the gym for a few months and I joined a social table tennis group once a week. I am not good, but it's a bit of exercise and I have improved a little. I also do bushwalking now and then.

Since I am old I joined U3A and have done some things through that. I manage to get out of the house at least every second day, sometimes I just take myself on a drive (less now that petrol has gone up) or a walk, or to a medical appointment, but sometimes I will get a coffee while out. Then there's gardening and reading, I do crosswords and sudoku. Mostly I do things by myself, but I meet people, like at U3A but it's usually just for the activity, so more acquaintances than friends.

That was the thing with work, you spoke to someone on workdays even if it wasn't a close or lasting friendship. I am trying to find some volunteer things to do as well, I am a bit concerned because of my MH, I don't like letting people down.

Do you have activities outside of work?

Thanks @1nsertnamehere 

I am sorry that you have experienced childhood trauma and have CPTSD. I hope that you are able to find some support for yourself. Thanks for the link to the video.

I am seeing a psychologist who has over a decade of experience in sexual assault/abuse, so I am lucky in that respect. I have not been seeing her for very long though. I have taken medication as well.

@TheoBromine Its good you're able to talk to your psychologist about your treatment options. And the psychologist is guiding you through, a client centered approach.

Your activity schedule is quite a lot; do you have any downtime or things that recharge your battery? I find swimming or sitting in a warm spa helps me relax, and also strength training. I have heard of U3A- what activity- do you do there? 

I have gym membership but not using it that often, after having a work injury. My other activities are with my dogs, which take up a large part of my spare time. And I spend time helping my parents. And outside of work, I only have a few friends and lately finding myself shutting down more.

How was your day? What is planned for tomorrow?

@oceangirl I was able to get the heart button to work. I didn’t do anything different, it just worked. But now it’s stopped again!

Yes, the psychologist is good for letting me decide things, but sometimes it would be nice to get her take on things.

Actually I have thought about swimming or aquarobics as another exercise type. Plus I might meet some people there.

I am kind of used to being busy with work. I think I have quite a bit of downtime, too much and it seems like I might ruminate. 
With U3A I’ve been to a few talks and visited some local places, sort of guided walks, I played Scrabble for a term.

My dogs passed away in last few years, which has been difficult as I did many things with them. I felt very strange going for a walk without a dog, as I’d had them for a long time, I’m getting used to it, but I really miss them. Their deaths have not helped my MH.

I am sorry to hear you had a work injury, I hope you recover quickly and well.

Today I went to the gym and tomorrow I have a follow up medical imaging appointment.

It is supposed to rain a fair bit tomorrow and next couple of days.

I hope you have a lovely day tomorrow, I’m sorry to hear that you feel like you’re shutting down with your social things. Are you able to talk to these people about how you’re feeling. Do you see a MH professional?

Moving into retirement in itself can be a difficult time for mental health - it's a big change in identity & routine, and it takes a while to discover new meaning, purpose and fulfilment in the 3rd third of your life.   There's a saying I like - you don't think your way into a new way of living, you live your way into a new way of thinking.  In other words, it can help to get out into life and try new things to get new perspectives.  Even if you find its not for you, you've made progress by crossing something off the list of potentials.  The ABC had a good article on it a while ago: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-12-13/retirement-and-defeating-relevance-deprivation-syndrome/103196784

For childhood trauma, you may want to check out https://blueknot.org.au/