Feel lost (for training)

Hi everyone,

i have been a member for some time but have found it difficult to post on here before. I have been caring for my wife. who was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia nearly 10yrs ago. and there have been many difficulties but i have found the loss of the woman i married and the feelings of grief the hardest...i just dont recognise her since the first episode.

I feel as though after all this time i should be able to deal with it better than i do.
I wondered if anyone else felt the same and had any pearls of wisdom.

thanks